I'm sure I wasn't a wet noodle in a past life but I have definitely done some soul-searching within the past few years that completely revamped the way that I think, the way I act, and how I approach life. Working for Child Protective Services for several years transformed me from a somewhat timid person to a CAPITAL G in every way possible. I mean I'm tactful and very polite but I'm much tougher (*cough* ratchet *cough*) than most folks expect :) This transformaton was a gradual mental process that allowed for lots of trial and error during those tryin' years.
Between the child removals (because there is NO fury like a mother getting a child removed), police/client/caseworker showdowns in the courtroom, and even being followed home....listen.....I have adopted a level of resiliency that I never thought I would! However, I'm grateful to have had such a profound (and rewarding) experience. I made it out alive with a list (My love for list making is REAL deep) of ways to upgrade your mental toughness. Here we go!
Find your personal motivation AND outside motivation.
You are certainly allowed to be selfish when it comes to your personal success but GURL IF YOU DON'T LOOK AROUND! There will always be others that look to you for inspiration and encouragement even if they don't say it to you. If you can't muster yourself up to complete a task, then think of those other people in your life that may be effected. Don't let those folks down. Maybe it's your clients, students, siblings, or random stranger on the internet. I occasionally disappoint myself if I get lazy on my goals, but having accountability from another person is the extra kick I need to get ish done.
Your life is in your control. Resist the urge to blame others.
Nobody has a perfect life, and if the Internet makes you feel otherwise remember that all of this stuff (pictures, social outings, possessions) is JUST STUFF. What truly matters is the people you love and genuine connections you make. So if you spend half of your time defending your choices and blaming everyone but yourself for your problems, you will lose all of those genuine connections that make you happy. We're adults. Nobody has to appease you. We can dip TF out of here so fast!!! *hair flip* Nobody in their right mind wants to be someone else's scapegoat SO "own your own ish" and your support circle will stay nice and tight.
Get comfy being uncomfortable.
Just go for it. You are not ever going to feel 100% prepared. Put on your big girl panties, throw on your Young Jeezy playlist, and handle it. Be BRAVE, it's 2016. When we don't go out on a limb and take chances we live with that regret FOREVER. Ask anyone who felt like they had to pass up an amazing opportunity. They remember their thought process and go "dangit, I shoulda blah blah blah, but I didn't." Everyone misses the mark sometimes but if you never try then you'll never know how far you could have gone. Which brings me to my next point!
Failure should not make you feel like your life is in complete shambles. Failure is always an opportunity for growth.
It sucks to fail, or lose, or be rejected. Each time this happens you have to reflect on the whole shabang, pull new information from that experience, then MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. We all hate that person who has the "woe is me" story that they have told EVERYONE you know. Let it go, bruh. It's not that deep.
Be happy for other people when they succeed.
Success is worth celebrating even when it's not your own. Don't belittle other folks and their "come up!" Let them have their SHINE- so when it's time to celebrate YOUR life people will remember how you made them feel on their day. Don't be a hater. It's not cute.
And since I'm feelin' a lil' cute in my photos here are outfit details:
Camo Jacket: Free on Me (at TJ Maxx)
Jeans: KenCan (at TJ Maxx- cuz I'm a Maxxinista!)
Shirt: Shop LOCAL with Good Life Clothing out of Columbus, OH @GoodLifeOh on IG. Follow them here, launch coming soon.
Shoes: Old, kinda don't remember but hopefully replacing them with Doc Martens soon :)